Miles Austin (AKA "The $54 Million Man"), seen here leap-frogging a Viet Cong sapper outside of Da Nang shortly before the Tet Offensive, had a particularly awful game on Sunday.
The International Shoe Historical Society proudly presents the following post which Stavros left on the league message board earlier today:
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Goodbye Alan Ball. You no longer have to be a thin corner playing in the defensive backfield like a traffic cone with no arms.
Goodbye Mike Jenkins. You used to look like Deion Sanders. Now you look like ex-Maverick Sean Bradley…you just keep getting posterized.
Goodbye Marion Barber. No longer the Barbarian, you look like an old El Camino with one door rusted shut and the other missing.
Goodbye Wade Phillips. We will no longer be able to listen to you after a loss, squint a little while listening to you, and think we are actually undefeated.
Goodbye Felix Jones. Don’t think we ever said hello to you, really, but goodbye nonetheless. Congrats on your added weight too. Seems to help your explosion. Dick.
Goodbye Miles Austin: Thank you for that wonderful leapfrog that cost us 15 yds and that 1.4 fantasy pts you scored which cost me my fantasy season on the same day as the Cowboys season. A special F you to you.
Goodbye Dallas Cowboys. You had the expectations of a child born in a billion dollar crib. Your rich father gave you everything you wanted including a mild mannered, southern, pudgy nanny to take care of you. The nanny coddled you, and nurtured you, and raised you as best he could but without discipline and without teaching you right from wrong. You have grown in his image…weak, undisciplined, heartless, lame, and fat. He loves you all unconditionally because you are all named after his father. You are all Bums. And now, you have now leap-frogged your way off a cliff to your death by losing the ineptitude bowl. Burn in hell 2010 Cowboys. Never has an NFL team accomplished so little with so much. For fuck’s sake, the Ranger’s season has lasted longer than yours. Screw you 2010 Dallas Cowboys. Screw you.
8 comments:
Take a look at at Austin's ass. I tore that shit up when i was with him.
That artist's rendering is deceptive and misleading. As I have repeatedly assured my enemies in the West, if you try to leap frog over a well trained soldier of the Viet Cong, you will get only an ass full of lead.
-Uncle Ho
Jesus, that's $48 million more than me
I've had an ass full of lead, if you know what I mean.
I don't know why we didn't just blast those people back to the god damn stone age
i think some asshole failed to achieve vietnamization
That's what happens when you are using guns that don't work
What do you know about guns and killin people, Sherlock?
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