For the old warrior Steven Jackson, the 2010 season was about redemption. The Kapitalizm Stompers defeated Vick in a Box 103.70-82.04 to win its first ever league championship.
Steve Jackson, the goat of last year's championship game, was named the MVP of the 2010 championship game. Jackson was a persistent subject of trade rumors throughout the 2010 season due to his high salary and weak 2009 finish. However he had 16.40 points in the semi-final game and 12.40 points in the championship game and his story of redemption became a favorite topic of the state-owned Kapitlizm Stomper press.
Stomper co-owners Vander Kluge and McStallen, who were affectionately nicknamed "Ludendorff and Von Hindenburg" by the Stomper fan base, were ecstatic after the victory.
"We believe this victory is the final nail in the free market's coffin."exclaimed Vander Kluge.
"In honor of this victory, we will execute twice as many political prisoners!" proclaimed McStallen.
The Stompers set a league record by winning 12 regular season games and then beat Castro and Otis en route to their championship. Break-out performances from Arian Foster and Hakeem Nicks were the keys to the Stompers' success.
"Arian Foster is the only reason this team was any good." commented disgraced former owner Scott Ginsburg.
Foster was signed by Vander Kluge as an alternate bid during the final 2009 blind bid period and was offered by McStallen as a throw in to the preseason Santonio Holmes- Greg Jennings trade with Greece Lightening. Greece Lightening declined the offer to include Foster, and Foster proved to be an elite RB option for the Stompers during the 2010 season.
Vick in a Box, which just joined the league in 2009, had a balanced attack led by stars Eli Manning, Adrian Peterson, Rashard Mendenhall and Larry Fitzgerald. Peterson has been on 3 different teams in the last 3 years (Bafana, Manimals and Vick), and yet he has played in the last 3 championship games.
"I'm disappointed that we lost but I'm proud of my guys. I promised Bear that we're going to be competing for a championship again in 2011." said Coach Otis Carter.
The championship game scoring was as follows:
Stompers
1. QB Matt Schaub 16.40*
2. RB Chris Johnson 5.80*
3. RB Arian Foster 19.50
4. FX Steven Jackson 12.70*
5. WR Reggie Wayne 4.00
6. WR Hakeem Nicks 15.30
7. TE Vernon Davis 7.00*
8. K David Buehler 11.00
9. DEF Baltimore 12.00
Vick in a Box
1. QB Eli Manning 17.24
2. RB Rashard Mendenhall 9.80
3. RB Adrian Peterson 16.90 **
4. FX Brandon Marshall 10.20
5. WR Larry Fitzgerald 2.60
6. WR Derrick Mason 11.00
7. TE Chris Cooley 4.80
8. K David Akers 2.00
9. DEF Chicago 3.00
* = second year in a row playing in championship game
**= third year in a row playing in championship game
In the third place game, the Eagles- err ~Melonheads- defeated the Castro 93.12-79.44. The ~Melonheads had a boom or bust season in which they scored more than 100 points in 9 regular season games, scored under 80 points in 5 regular season games, and never scored between 80-100 points in a regular season game. The Castro had an impressive season with was capped by their first ever playoff berth.
The Toilet Bowl game, which was scheduled to be played between the Manimals and Athens, was canceled due to indifference.
"This useless game was a hold out from the Grampa Nuttelman era and is nothing more than an eye sore to the league, and we welcome its termination with open arms." stated Commissioner Lee.
1 comment:
This Kapitalizm Stomper "championship" team is a bunch of pussies. Back in the day when I played for the Stompers, we were men and we had balls of steel. We could beat this shit-ass Stomper team with our eyes closed.
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